Yesterday I was in my bed watching the season finale of The Bachelorette . It was the most lifelike heart wrenching breakup I've ever seen on TV. It was literally unreal to watch a man's dreams of weddings and families and babies and shit broken in a single moment.
I suppose we've all been there. And also we've all recovered from that. And then we start dating someone else eventually. And the person who breaks your heart for someone else will also break up with the next person probably. So I guess watching this show of love and loss and break ups for me is super cathartic because it's a great reminder that love is an impermanent delusion and a major source of human weakness. Actually being able to watch people in their moments of grief and frailty and extreme love-driven ecstasy is extremely satisfying. Its like an inoculation against any desire inside me to jump on those emotional roller coasters myself.
So anyway, why did that make me want to take a picture everyday and write about it??? I think because My life is in a rather extreme upheaval with no identifiable end in sight. Watching the Bachelorette is like watching a fantasy sequence of all the benchmarks I used to be waiting for.
And I want to document the things I'm pursuing now in a positive way. My life is really bomb. I do whatever I want. If I was to ever try to capture the weirdest thing that happens every day it would literally be hard because so many weird things happen everyday.
And I guess I'm terrified of the day that stops and I become wrapped up in the monotony of child rearing and marriage.
Right now I'm on a train and it smells like farts and people are yelling!!! And I'm about to go put on an apron an protest our shitty minimum wage.
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